Skip to main content

Heaven so lucid and low






It seems I lost MY Way
Found myself back where I used to stay
Even if I asked you not to
Thank you for
Still coming in my dreams
Reminding me of better things
Introducing my mind to possiblities
Even though it hasn't worked
Though I still base my worth
On my ability to love you
I still love you so much
I want his life to be good
My puzzle still seems to be
To figure out how I could have
Held us together
Successfully weathered
A storm like in The Life of Pi
Maybe if I knew your math
Maybe if I knew your chemistry
If I hadn't been so backwards
So unprepared and uninformed
Maybe I could have kept us warm
Though I have these moments
These times where I evaluate
Every day I educate
Every day I dream
Every day I realize
That I am capable of living alone
I just don't want to
Thank you for loving me
Thank you for teaching me
How to love
My hurts
have become
My greatest motivation
There is someone new
She is not you
But because of you
I know how to love her better
carry her water
give her my leather hat
In rainy weather
hold her when she cries
Instead of becoming silent
From overwhelming emotions of my own
I try my best
Not to let her feel alone
To show her what I mean by family
We are finding our way
She is a blue lotus
I think you would like her
As much as I'm conflicted some days
As much as I ache to be that awake
I know we can't be friends
I definitely can't be a friend to him
Not up close
This much I know
I concentrate, contemplate, and continuate for you
Try to send out positive energy into the Universe for you
I even pray for him
You were a pivotal moment in my evolution
I'm a better man
And the best Daddy in the world
Don't just take my word for it
Ask my son
I wish you could have known him
Wish you could see what he sees
The hero in me
If only for a moment or two
People say I have to forget about you
Most days I have
I just get heartaches
On significant days
And what is a poet supposed to do
Burn every word that I wrote about you
Before it ever reveals it's benefit
I'm just not into it
I have to suffer this
I have to reinvent the feel
In some kind of rising arc
There can be no closure for me
Without denoument



Comments

Post a Comment

Popular posts from this blog

The 5 People Who Make Life Heaven

They listen when you need to talk Talk when you need to listen They know your darkness Let you know theirs Without judgement and expectation You can talk to them about how you see things They don't get angry or anxious when you disagree Trust you enough to say what they really think Read tweets and novels Never make you beg or grovel Won't allow it Remind you that you're better than that Lay some of their burden on you Let you behind their wall Feel welcome behind yours You feel each other with heart and mind Even if you don't explain yourself  They get you You get them These are the ones that make life worth living Make you love to be alive Reflect you to you Teach and learn Some days the lead singer Some days the band These are the ones You can count on one hand (c) Ron Kennedy 
Post a Comment
Read more

Reasonable Words

Photo by  Brooke Cagle  on  Unsplash I married my small town There was no shotgun I had a way out & My youngest son was set When faced with a choice of flight & hoping to find you While hoping you would find me I chose love & sacrifice over poetry Truth is though poetry never left Never will leave Moves as I move But I may have sacrificed Any chance with you I was not afraid to risk All my coin on a pitch & toss Then write 10,000 words That makes a gain of loss I just couldn’t tell what was true You seemed to prefer your solitude Aside from that There was a need A weight that fell Upon some I love There was no providence coming Other than what these hands With what I had in my hands In my heart In my mind With my choice This is not to say no one cared It’s just that it’s ruggedly Individualist out here & the trickles Never get anything close to Raising our boats Some wo
Post a Comment
Read more

Spring to Mind

Photo by Mohamed Nohassi on Unsplash This morning I slow danced In secret With the sunrise There was nothing To prove Nothing To win or lose Nothing To hold on to Or let go We just danced Illicitly Guilt-free Forgot reality And any need to be Anything other Than present This morning I slow danced In secret With the sunrise.
Post a Comment
Read more