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Satellite Season




Oh to be inside her
and do anything
to ease her pain. 

She made it clear
it was ok to proceed
but signaled I should
proceed with caution.

So I waited. 
There seemed to be
no good reason
to rush things.

Love seems like
a letting go
while at the same time
negotiating
to see if there
is anything in me
worth staying for
for her. 




Without feeling like
she defines me
with her not wanting
or needing me.

She is about her.
I am about me.
There will never be
a we unless we both 
effectively negotiate it.

I am calmness and stability.
Calmness and stability can get boring.
I can relate. Some days I so love
a good thunderstorm.

If I had 3 wishes,
I'd wish for psychological freedom,
for you, me, and we.

Hoping that in that psychological freedom,
we might birth love and commitment.
Even if in some seasons,
we are nothing more to each other,
than orbiting satellites.




It takes so long to let
people be who they need to be,
while still having the courage,
to be yourself.

I found her in a kind of hell.
The best I could do sometimes
was wait until she chose to wake up.



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